Dear Hubby - three-ish months

Husband.  Finally I get to call you that.  I was never comfortable calling you my boyfriend or partner and fiance just didn't seem to work either.  But now I can say "Hubby".  Actually to be honest it still feels a little weird calling you that.  Everyone knows we are newlyweds and when I say that word I swear I can see them almost smirk at me, thinking that I like to throw that word around now.  And I do like to use it whenever I can.  I think some people have even forgotten your name.  You are now My Husband.

I knew the moment I met you.  That moment at the top of the stairs before I even walked into the same room as you, I saw you.  You looked up and caught my eye and in that moment, I knew.  At the time I was highly cynical so my first thought was actually "Wouldn't it be funny if that was my future husband."  Turns out, you were.  I don't know if it was funny.  We laugh, we have good times, but in that moment, it was life changing.  Although that bit I didn't know about until a little later on.

It is still life changing.  You turned my world upside down and suddenly I wanted to be a better person.  I still do.  I would never have done half the things we have done together if you didn't turn up.  Suddenly the world made a lot of sense.

So, here we are, married.  I remember a lot of people telling me that once you are married, everything changes and it changes for the better.  I was concerned because at the 6-ish week mark I didn't think much had changed.  I talked to C and she asked me if it was good before the wedding.  I told her it was great.  She asked what I wanted to change, I told her nothing.  So in her words, "What is the problem?"  Nothing at all.  The only change I have noticed is that suddenly we are clucky.  While we are not about to rush out into the world of parenthood I do remember many nights pre wedding, when we would sit and fantasize about our future, childless life.  Oh, it was wonderful.  We were going to travel the world, eat at the best restaurants, sipping only the finest wine.  The future was full of glamour and doing as we pleased.  All.  The.  Time.  Now we find ourselves thinking about what a little version of us would look like, and pondering baby names.  Maybe we will have children.  Maybe.

So my darling, happy 3-ish months, I love you.