I am a committed person. When I find someone good, I commit to that person. I know there will be times in our relationship when we hit a rough patch, but I have faith those times will come to pass and all will be good again. My most recent hairdresser (lets call her J) and I have been together for almost as long as I have been with Hubby. I was actually seeing someone else at the time, J would apply my colour and then my hairdresser would come in at the end and do a quick cut and take all the glory. But she got pregnant and once she left I just ended up with J. I hoped it would be the start of a wonderful relationship.
For a long time it was good, and over time it got better, but at some point, maybe a year ago, we both became complacent and stopped making an effort. I would tell her what I was after in vague detail, but allow her to be creative and work out what would suit me best. I think she just got a little lazy, afterall I was such a good client always keeping the 6 week appointment standard for colour that she probably stopping putting in the effort. I was no longer happy with my hair. There was nothing really wrong with it, it just wasn't what I wanted, but then I didn't really communicate it clearly in the first place and did allow her to do what she thought was best.
I got bored, as I do, and decided to go brunette, which she has done for me before. Dark and chocolatey were my instructions. The result looked very coppery to me and I wasn't happy, but all I did was smile, told her she did a great job, handed over the money and booked again for another 6 weeks. Less than 2 weeks later the chocolate part had gone and my hair went copper. I broke the greatest sin of all by rushing out to the supermarket and purchasing colour in a box. That evening I had the exact colour I wanted to achieve. When she came back for the next appointment she noticed my hair was not her work. I told her that was the colour I wanted and she said she could do it. She failed and again I said nothing.
It was at this point other people started to get involved and suggested that maybe the relationship was not working and that perhaps it was time to find someone else. I knew deep down they were right, but maybe I didn't have the guts to do it, or maybe I just felt that after all this time I owed it to her to stick it out. And so I did.
At the end of the year I decided it was time to go blonde again. I assumed, like we had in the past that this would take several visits as we went from lighter shares of brunette to dark blonde and then work our way up the peroxide spectrum. However when I told her she assured me she could take me straight to blonde. I trusted her, she was an expert, had the training and we had a history, and what did I know about hair colouring anyway? After 3 hours and being bleached 3 times I couldn't take it anymore. I needed a break. My hair was now a lovely shade of sherbet orange. She told me she would fix it tomorrow. The next day and another 3 hours, and while the colour had improved slightly it was still orange and she has to take several inches off because of how damaged my hair now was.
I paid, booked again for another 6 weeks and then tried to stop myself from walking out in front of on-coming traffic. I now knew this relationship had run it's course. It was time to break up. As our 6 week appointment slowly came up in my diary, I cheated and saw someone else, someone recommended by a friend who has great blonde hair. She is the best one I have ever had (and to Hubby's great satisfaction, half the price). I then messaged J a week out and told her I was away for the weekend and would need to rebook. This was not a lie, I was away and at the time I made the appointment with her I didn't know I would be. She asked me when to rebook and like a coward I said "in the new year". A few more text messages were sent over the next few days and I ignored them.
Even though I now have my best hair yet (aside from the all the damage of J's over bleaching which has cost me a keratin treatment and will take all year for my hair to grow out to be the same length) I am not pleased with how I dealt with the situation. I need to learn how to break up with people because so far, whether a hair dresser, personal trainer, ex boyfriend or even an old friend, my method has been to not return the calls and messages. Next time I need to stand up to my fears (of what exactly I am not sure) and people pleasing nature and just say, "This isn't working, I think it would be in both our interest to go our separate ways." I just wonder what the consequences of doing that would be....
