The Dog Test

I stumbled upon this Parenting Test the other day as I was surfing the web and then I started thinking.  What would a dog test look like for someone considering getting a dog....

The Dog Test 

Test 1

Spend a day going to every hairdresser within a 50 km radius of your house.  Collect all the swept up hair that was cut that day and place in a garbage bag.  You will need several bags.  When you get home empty the bags all over the house, ensuring each room has a collection of hair on the floor and noting also to spread over the furniture and a few items of clothing (black is ideal).  Do not get the vacuum just yet, try to live with it.

Test 2

Drink lots and lots of water.  When you need to go to the toilet just take your undies off and go where you are standing, carpet is a better choice than tiles.  Once done, clean it up.  Ensure that you also try and find a few spots to go that are in hard to reach corners, such as behind an armchair.  This way the mess cannot be seen and can only be smelt a few days later.  

Test 3

Go to a local daycare/playcentre and ask to borrow all the plastic play balls the kids play with.  Dump these balls onto the kitchen floor ensuring full coverage.  Now attempt to make dinner without stepping on any balls.

Test 4

When you have a few moments of quite time find your favourite chair and read a book/watch a DVD/ do whatever makes you happy.  Have a family member jump up on you and climb over you as much as possible.  Attempt to continue on with your activity.

Test 5

Go for a walk.  Stop for 30 seconds at every object that comes from the ground, both natural and artificial, notice that your 15 minute walk suddenly turns into a 30 minutes one.  Ideally go to the toilet on this walk, preferably not long after leaving and carry it with you for the rest of the way.

Test 6

Whenever you have something important to do at home, have a family member stand at the back door and scratch away at it while making dog like noises until it drives you to the point of letting them inside the house.

Test 7

Every time you sit down at the table to eat have a family member sit on the floor and start to jump up on you, have them scratch your leg and when you do not give them food straight away have them start barking at you.   Finish your meal.

Can you think of any other tests to include?

Introducing Raz

I decided to take this week off work to help Raz settle in.  We took Mr C home just before Christmas and we already had a week and a half off and it was good to have that time to settle him in, and most importantly toilet train him.  I decided to take a week off to do the same for Raz, I didn't want to bring him home and the next day leave him alone for 8 hours.  My timesheet at work says I am on Recreation Leave.  Hubby made the mistake of saying I was on holidays.  I wish.  I need a holiday.  I personally think I am on maternity leave.

I actually thought having a week off would give me time to do stuff around the house as well as play mum.  Things I struggle to find the time to do, like rearrange the pantry, get into our junk room that still has unopened boxes and unpack a few more things (that clearly we don't need if we have gone this long without).  I even thought I would be able to list a load of unwanted items on ebay.  Instead I have done a trillion loads of washing and mopping the floors, twice.  Being Wednesday I think the pantry is going to have to wait another couple of weeks or so.  

Everyone feels the need to comment that I should get used to it, because when we decide to have a family it will be like this but worse.  This is usually said by people who already have kids, or our parents who have been there done that.  This comment is always followed with a loud laugh, an apparent inside joke that we are not yet in on.  It is not helpful, nor is hubby when he said to me last night that I do not appear to be suited to 'Housewife'.  He almost slept on the couch.

So welcome to the family Raz, mum and dad love you, although we are a little frustrated with your zero warning signs when it comes to peeing, and as for our first born, your big brother Mr C, well, all I can say is that he has no choice but to accept you, and I am sure in due course he will.  I hope.

Expecting

We have been a little pre-occupied this week.  Only 3 more sleeps.  Hubby and I have been thinking for a long time that it was time to expand our little family of 3 to 4.  Mentally we are ready, the house is almost ready and after a little shopping spree I think we have everything that we need.  We have been waiting for months.  And on the weekend we found out that the pregnancy we were backing on wasn't to be.  However by some small chance, on Monday morning a tiny little add popped up, I made the call and here we are.

Mr C needs a buddy, I feel bad that we work full time, he is happy but whenever he goes to the kennels dog resort he goes off.  He loves it there.  The owner has a pug, his name is Gilbert, and Gilbert and Mr C are the best of friends, so we knew that when the time was right we could only go with another pug.  The breeder sent through the photo to me on Monday morning and as soon as I laid eyes on him, I knew, he was The One.  I sent it through to Hubby and he agreed.  I quickly made arrangements for us to go down there on Sunday to take him home.  He is 8 weeks today so the timing is perfect.

I am very clucky right now, for the puppy of course.  My mum is excited she loves Mr C, treats him like a grandson, which he is really.  We treat him like a really baby, while we don't go to the extreme some other owners go, he does walk around naked for example, he is the centre of attention every evening.  And we talk about him all the time as if he was our son.  When we first moved in one of the neighbours came around introducing themselves, pointing our their children, proudly showing off the latest addition, a 6 month old bubba.  I picked up Mr C and introduced him as our only child.  Fortunately they smiled instead of walking away wondering who on earth had just moved in next door.

Hubby's mum was very disappointed with the news, she wants a real baby so bad, but I told her, having two pugs will be perfect practise, once we have this down pat maybe then we will be ready for the real thing.  Surely we are not the only childless couple out there with fur babies who treat them like real children?

Coke For Breakfast

I never have Coke for breakfast.  I rarely have it anyway.  But I am soooo tired and I need as much caffeine as I can handle to get through a full day of work.  Mr C has been sick and last night he woke us at 2:15am and vomited seven times in half an hour.  So it was off to vet.  First we had to find one that was open.  Turns out none are, but we finally found a number that lead to a mobile that lead to an "on call" vet being woken at 2:30 in the morning.

We got to the vet, naturally as soon as we got there Mr C acted like nothing was wrong.  Vet thinks gastro, gave us some pills, keep an eye on him all that stuff.  $300 later we were on the couch at 4am.  Mr M pottered about while I lightly dozed. 

Now I need go get dressed for work.  I'm not looking forward to it.  I'm tired, cranky and I have too much work to do.  Not to mention all the non work, work I have to do at home.  Clean the crap off the table, order the last few remaining Christmas presents, send off the wedding paperwork to the church, enrol into units for uni next year.  It is all too much.  I need a holiday but it looks like I won't get one till the Honeymoon.  Wish I could just go to sleep and wake up Christmas Eve. 

Thank you very much Mr C for a taste of parenthood.  So much to look forward to.  Mummy needs to go to work now, enjoy sleeping all day.