Reflections

Hubby and I started 2012 with only 2 goals set for the year.  The first was to move into the house that was 2 years in the making and the second was to get married.  We knew that both these goals would be achieved in the first half of the year, but did not want to set any goals for the second half of the year because we felt we just wouldn't have anything left in us after those two goals.  We were right.  In fact it has only been in the last month or so that I have started to feel the urge to set some more goals and start achieving again.

A month before our wedding we moved into our first house.  It was just over two years from when we paid the initial deposit on the land and the journey to that point was a tough one, and a huge learning experience.  I love our house and I love that in the end we got there.  People ask if we would do it again.  The answer is No.  If we could go back we wouldn't have taken this path, but that does not mean we regret it, we have no regrets.  I still walk around our house, knowing I am free to hang up a picture and change the paint colour and I feel I am in dream.  Sometimes it doesn't seem real and I have to pinch myself.  Hubby and I worked hard for this and it was worth it.  We are both so fortunate to live here and to live in our beautiful house.

Then there was the wedding.  It was an intimate affair, we ran away to the country, 6 hours from home, rented out a 100 year old Summer House and eloped.  We did invite our parents and siblings and Hubby's godparents, and they were our only guests.  We were married in a little white country church and the bell was rung by my brother after the ceremony.  We were driven around in a 1950's Jag for our photos before our late lunch reception in the Great Hall of the Summer House.  It was autumn, both fireplaces were roaring and all 10 of us sat around one table in front of the fire.  There were tears of joy, smiles and lots of laughter.  After the photographer left we all changed into more relaxing clothing and chatted by the fire.  Hubby and I finally had a chance to be alone and we sat in our spa for half an hour talking about the day.  Finally, we were Husband and Wife.  We then joined our families for a light supper of home made soup where the night was spent eating, drinking and singing.  The next day our families left and we had a day to relax before embarking on a month long road trip Honeymoon.

The second half of the year has been spent working on our house and settling into married life.  For the first time in our relationship we had the chance to just Be.  2012 has been the best year of my life and it will always be a special year for us.  I look back on this year with so many happy memories and I can only look back and smile.

Lessons Learned

I hope Santa was good to you.  He was good to me, although apparently one particular gift which Santa thought best to send registered post did not make it on time, but that just means another surprise later on this week.  Santa did give me the entire DVD collection of McLeod's Daughters, very Rural Dreaming indeed.  

And did you have a good Christmas Day?  Ours was interesting.  It was our first ever Christmas that we had in our new place and was a VERY good trial run for next year when both families will be coming over.  It was Hubby and I and his parents.  We made Buttermilk Pancakes for breakfast which worked out really well.  I then spent over 3 hours slaving away getting lunch ready in the kitchen.  I was so prepared, I had the recipes and every single ingredient ready to go and I followed it all to The T.  By 2:30pm people were getting hungry and I still wasn't happy with the lamb.  But I took it out and hoped the veggies would start to crisp up soon.  I didn't want to serve this any later than 3pm (at the start of the day I had planned for 1pm).  Hubby was in the kitchen trying to help me and it was at this time as we were trying our best to put a bodged up meal together he pointed out to me that the oven was set to grill, not oven.  I laughed, I had to, I was just over it.

Lunch was served and everyone raved about the potato bake.  That turned out great as I squeezed it onto the top shelf of the oven so that was cooked really well on the grill setting.  As for the veggies, they were cooked but not crispy and the lamb, well it was a little pink and my MIL has a thing about pink meat, if it isn't leather she won't touch it.  They were very polite and told me that the flavours were all there, which is a nice way of saying, "You tried and failed".  I redeemed myself with dessert, it was a store bought pudding but I made home made custard and I made it fresh as the pudding was cooking.  MIL told me I should have just bought custard from the shops and my FIL told me the custard wasn't ready as it wasn't thick enough.  I told them I was making it from scratch, so my FIL told me to add more custard powder.  I gave him a funny look and asked what was custard powder.  Skeptical as they were once they had a mouthful they swore they could never go back to store bought custard again.

So, at the end of the day, what did I learn from all this:

1) Perhaps Hubby and I should have a quite one next year with just the two of us (maybe three he joked - not funny).

2) When a recipe says to put the oven onto 170, check the oven is on the correct setting before moving onto step 2 of the recipe.

3) Find a better gravy recipe, red wine makes it purple.

4) When you are in the kitchen all day and your guests say that you shouldn't have gone to so much trouble (little late now isn't it?) and that you should have just bought everything from the shops and reheated it and that next year just have everyone bring a dish, take a deep breathe, walk away for a minute and remember that it is not personal, it is not about you.  It is not a criticism.

5) Seriously re-think next years plan that a merge of the two families means a merge of "Foodies" vs "Just add more custard powder" and exactly how will I manage that.

Stressed?

Just a little.  I am tired, as every day this week after work I have been running around doing things, then I get home rest a little and then start running around the house doing things before going to bed at 11, which is an hour past my usual bedtime.  We are having Christmas Day lunch at our house.  This was never meant to happen and was only decided upon less than two weeks ago.  Very long story.  Fortunately it will only be for four people.  Next year is another story that I will not worry about until maybe September.

On top of all this I am working up until 12pm on Monday 24th and tomorrow morning after a quick dash to Sydney for an appointment that cannot be cancelled we then have to race back to meet my in-laws, who are bringing with them my sister-in-law, her partner and her children who have never seen the house.  So of course we want to make the house looking as lovely as possible, but it is hard when I am also trying to get ready for Christmas Day.  A little voice in my head is saying "Welcome to Married Life".

The house is ok, clearly we won't show them the junk room cos the work in that has stalled of late and we are going to try our best to hide the yard, which after the recent bout of landscaping looks like a bomb has hit it.  Next year when we have everyone for Christmas the landscaping will be complete and we will have a lovely timber deck to sit out on and enjoy.  The house will be open to all and no room excluded and the walls will be covered with photos and mementos.  I think that is what annoys me most, how it still looks like a display home with very little personal touch.

Which brings me to one of my goals for 2013: Operation House to Home.  It is time to make this house truly ours and make it the house we see in our minds.  It will take a whole year (maybe more) but I want to be able to look around this time next year and be proud, and to feel that this is our place.

For now we will do the best we can, just to get through until the 28th when things have settled, we have seen both families and we can squeeze in just a little alone time before the New Year.  Better get back to it, the floors await my attention.

Goodbye

It's not personal, it's just that we like our privacy.  And with the slope of the land it does make things a little difficult.  I mean, admit it, I have seen you a few times sticking your head through the blinds of your daughter's bedroom window to have a little 'sticky' and next door to you the kids have also pulled themselves up to peer over the fence at our boys.  Besides, it is 2012 and we just haven't officially met, apparently people don't meet and greet their neighbours anymore, so really it was time.  We are having a big Christmas next year and the deck will be done so a little privacy would be nice, and in 12 months time our little hedge should be at least 2 metres, it also means we can open up our blinds and not have to stare at an ugly, bare Colorbond fence. 

Of course this is a work in progress, we have done what we can for now and will continue again in January when we sort the drainage out.  But I am happy that I can walk outside and see a little bit of green along the fence.  I will be honest with you, I went for practicality.  In a perfect world I would love a hedge of rich pink and white camellias.  But in a perfect world we would be on acreage and wouldn't even be able to see your rooftop, let alone hear your conversations (and what about your daughter's recent interest in R'n'B?  If we can hear it, maybe it is a little too loud for her).  

It is not your fault.  We wanted to move onto acreage, but with land prices these days, well, we had a choice, a unit in Sydney or a house up here with a little slither of yard, we chose the latter.  A little bit of green is better that none.  And lets face it.  We are not here forever, maybe 5 years, 6 at the most, and perhaps then you would have gone.  But I digress, we wanted privacy, so we choose a fast growing hedge, up to 2 metres in 12 months!  Thick and dense and it can grow up to 6 metres overall.  It is a native as well and can tolerate both full sun and part shade.  What's that?  You want the details to protect yourself from your other neighbours?  Sure, it is a variety of Lilly Pilly - Acmena Smithii "Goodbye Neighbours", subtle I know.

It's Over

I broke up with The Pill just over a month ago.  Before anyone informs my MIL and she starts making booties, let me just clarify that it is not for the reason you usually come off.  At least not yet.  As I have mentioned before I have PCOS, and The Pill is great for it, it hides everything and makes you believe that even if you have PCOS you don't really have it because The Pill fixes everything.  

Some of the symptoms of PCOS are: no periods, facial hair, acne, thinning of the hair and weight gain.  Being on The Pill the only symptoms I have are weight gain, insulin resistance and cysts.  I don't know if I suffer from anything else and therefore I feel I really don't know how bad the condition is.  And to be really honest, it does cause issues with fertility and as much as Hubby and I joke about not having children, the reality is we do want them and we would like to start seriously thinking about it in a year or so.  

So in the last month I felt it was time to 'get real' as Dr Phil would say.  I decided the best thing I could do was to get off The Pill and find out exactly what is going on with my body and just how badly I have this thing known as PCOS.  Then once I know what I am dealing with I can go about treating it and getting my body in much better shape so that some time in the not too distant future Hubby and I can start to plan an addition to our family.

For the last few weeks things have been good, I have had a lot of headaches which apparently is quite normal otherwise it has been a smooth transititon.  Interestingly I do feel that I have more mental clarity like a fog has been lifted.  I have read a lot about The Pill and I am starting to wonder if it may have been the main factor in having PCOS and insulin resistance in the first place.  I have been on it since an early teenager when I had a bad acne problem and The Dr put me on it to fix it.  It did fix it and the few times I came off it my acne blew up again so naturally I went running straight back onto The Pill.  But those days are over, it is time to fix things for good and get in shape for whatever the future may hold. 

Sugar

I was a child of the 80's and that meant one thing, Sugar.  It was back in the day when sugar was everywhere, and it was only the dentist that seemed to have an issue with it.  The 'tuck shop' at school (now called a canteen) was full of the stuff, there were no healthy meals, lunch was a mini pizza if that is what you so desired.  Then of course there was the old milk bar/general store that you would ride your bike to with your mates or brother/sister, fill up on lollies and head back home for a sugar frenzy.  And of course there were the parties.  Ah yes, parties where no one had any allergies or food sensitives and it was all sugar and white flour in all their glorious forms.  We were all addicted, we got onto the stuff early and it stuck, there were no boundaries, it was sugar freedom.

Then in the 90's when we all became moody teenagers (from too much sugar as a child perhaps?) sugar hung around to give us our high, we didn't do coffee, we did sugar.  Then after school I worked in retail for three years, in confectionery.  Which everyone tells me is their dream job but I can assure you the fantasy is NOT the reality.  I gained 10kg and I can never eat a Lindt ball again.  But I digress.

A few years ago as I was enjoying a delicious meal of Crispy Shredded Steak I suddenly found part of my tooth in my mouth.  Naturally having had a perfect dental history I freaked out.  The next day the dentist gave me a filling.  I was not prepared for it and as such was scared for life.  A few months before the wedding I went in for a check up and FIVE points where located for needing a filling.  I had three done as the other two could wait until later.

Yesterday I saw the dentist as I had a very painful tooth and had stage one of root canal.  If you have never had this done let me suggest that you do whatever you have to do to ensure you never have this treatment.  I already don't like dentists and now they are on The List.  I am sure there are lots of contributing factors but I believe it all comes back to the sugar.  All those years it slowly worked it's way through my mouth and now at the tender age of 30 I am having root canal.  It is time to take it out of my life, time to break up.  Sugar, you are on The List.

Grateful

Image

On Thursday morning I learned of the passing of Zig Ziglar, never have I been more upset about the loss of someone I have never met.

I was first introduced to the work of Zig Ziglar when I dabbled in Network Marketing over 10 years ago and was given a set of cassette tapes of his to listen to.  The network marketing didn't last but Zig Ziglar's message did.  There was something about that Southern accent and "You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want" that stuck to me.  I started where I always start when I embark on something new and that was with 'Success for Dummies', written of course by Zig Ziglar.  I devoured every page of that book, it was as if a light had been turned on and I knew from that point that I would have the life I had dreamt about.  Over time I started to listen to his recordings which by now were downloads on my ipod.  Not long after starting my "automobile university" I met Hubby, and reflecting now, I wonder if things would have been different had I not started the process of becoming a happier and more positive person. 

Around 6 months ago after the wedding was over and we were settled into our house I found myself once again drawn to Zig's message, I bought a few more downloads, ordered a couple of books and introduced Hubby to Zig as well.  A few months ago I started on the self talk card which I can say with total confidence has been the one thing in my life that has lead to so much change lately.  Hubby and I started talking about what we were hearing and began applying the principals Zig taught.  Things started to change for us and we knew that the life we wanted was possible.  

Although we are really only at the start of the journey I am so grateful that I was introduced to the work of Zig Ziglar so many years ago.  And even though he has passed he has left a lasting legacy, he has left an amazing body of work not to mention a family that lives his message each and every day and are teaching a new generation the message of their father.  And that itself makes me think, I know what I want my life to look like, but what legacy do I want to leave?

Liebster Award

It has been a tad busy here lately, and this post is long overdue, but better late than never.

A few weeks ago two of my favourite bloggers, Jacana and Kirsa both nominated me for the Liebster Award (thank you!) so here are a few interesting facts about me.

The word “Liebster” apparently has German origins and is reported to mean sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome. 

So what is a Liebster Award? The award is given to support and recognise up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers (on their blog). 

The rules for the Liebster Award are as follows:

1. Each person must post 11 facts about themselves.

2. Answer 11 questions the tagger has given you and give 11 questions for the person you tag.

3. Choose 11 people and link them to your post (they must have 200 followers or less)

4. Tell them you have tagged them.

5. Remember, no tag backs.

 

11 random facts about me:

1)  I have only ever had one driving offense and that was when I was 16 and had been a learner for only 6 weeks (I was caught doing 70km/h in a 50km/h zone but Dad took the wrap for that as he was in the car teaching me and really he should have told me to slow down!).

2)  I have written a memoir.

3)  All dogs I have owned have been named after alcohol (although only the last two were deliberately named so).

4)  I have been known to eat an entire jar of olives in one sitting.

5)  I cannot do things by 3's, it has to be 2's or 4's, so if I have a third biscuit then I have to have another one.

6)  My middle name is the same middle name as both my grandmothers.

7)  Hubby and I both have the same defective toe, we both had an ingrown on both sides of our big toe, left foot (long before we met).  

8)  I am still trying to find the answer to the 'what do I want to do when I grow up' question.

9)  I get bored very easily, I always have to be learning something new.

10)  Even though I am a born and bred city girl I have always felt for as long as I could remember that I belonged in the country.

11)  When my asthma was first discovered my parents contemplated moving to the country for the better air quality.  Tragically they didn't. 

Jacana wants to know.....

Explain a family tradition you have?

We go out to a restaurant for Christmas lunch each year, that way no one has to worry about cooking and no one has to clean up!

What is the best gift you have ever received?

A dozen roses my Hubby gave to me when he picked me up for our first date.  We both just knew.

Do you have a hobby?

I have a lot of hobbies but never time for all of them.  At the moment I am really into reading, gardening, walking and wine tasting.

Name 3 items in your handbag or glove box?

Handbag always has my favourite pink Oroton wallet, my mobile phone and my ventolin.

Can you keep secrets?

Yes.  But when something is no longer a secret I always feel so relived.

As a child what did you want to be when you grew up?

Where do I start?  I wanted to be so many different things but the two that stick out the most are marine biologist and fashion designer (which go so well together to).

How far did you go in the education system?

I completed a Bachelor degree and began post graduate studies but they are on hold at the moment.

Have you ever won anything?

I did win an award at Speech Night in my final year at school, and that was a goal I set at the start of the year.  Still waiting to win some money however.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you choose?

In all honestly I really want to go to America, always have and I will get there one day.  I want to see the America you do not see in the movies or on TV and a little part of me wants to be a Southern Belle for just a night.

EBook or paper book?

Paper all the way, convenient and I don't get sore eyes from reading.  However I will buy ebooks that are short, easy reads that I can flip through on the train, and they must have lots of colour otherwise my eyes hurt.

Which famous person (living or dead) would you like to sit next to at a dinner party?

Zig Ziglar it would be the most educational and inspiring evening of my life.

Kirsa wants to know.....  

What is your favorite season?

No contest, Autumn.  When Hubby and I became engaged all we knew about the wedding was that it had to be in Autumn and that became the theme of our wedding.  I love the crispness of the air and the way nature shifts inwards.  I love snuggling up and putting on wool jumpers.  I could harp on about it all day.

 

What animal would you most like to be? 

I'm torn between the air and the sea.  Dolphin to be able to move through the water the way they do and an eagle to experience flying.

What is your favorite sandwich 

Ham and cheese with lots of real butter. 

How far back is your first memory

Visiting mum at the hospital about a few months after my brother was born, I was about 2 and a half. 

Did you ever think you loved a rock star/movie star and who was it? 

Again where do I start?  In the name of good humour I will say that I had a really big thing for Brandon from Beverley Hills 90210 (the original) I think he was only 10 years older than me so in my pre-teen mind we could get married.

Describe your ideal holiday 

5 star accommodation in an upmarket country town with lots of wineries and fine dining restaurants to visit.  And then maybe spending a few days on a tropical island to grab a tan and a few cocktails before coming back to reality.  

Do you chop the heads off a boiled egg, or crack and peel off the shell? 

Neither, I have never had a boiled egg, I have them poached or scrambled.

What kind of car do you drive and if its not your dream car, what is? 

I drive an old Mitsubishi Lancer, and it is definitely not my dream car.  My dream car is the one that Kate Middleton had to her wedding, I am not good on cars but I know it was a black Jaguar, now that is style.

Who is your favorite Author? 

Honestly I do not think I have a favourite.  I like many different types and styles of writing and I find it hard to part with good books, I could be here all night!

What made you start blogging? 

I felt I had a lot to say and instead of thinking things and losing them I wanted to record them.

Would you jump out of a plane?  

No.  In fact I would say Never with a 0.1% margin of error.

I am nominating whoever is reading this and wants to play along (yes slightly breaking the rules).

Goodbye Holiday, Hello Work

Feel so good.  Today snippets of work have popped into my head but I am not giving them any time. I have a few hours of my holiday left to enjoy and I am making the most of it by chilling in the rumpus with Hubby and The Boys, watching DVDs.

Hubby and I popped down to the Southern Highlands for a couple of nights as a bit of a mini break.  I have not been down there for many years and all the times I did go was on a day trip so it was nice to stay a while.  We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves with the food and wine and lots of R and R.  The place we stayed was amazing and the hosts were the nicest people, running a brand new B'n'B.  Each evening before we went out to dinner they invited us to share a glass of wine and cheese with them before we left.  It was greatly appreciated and we enjoyed the conversation.

On the way down we popped into the info centre to find out what to do.  The lady there provided many suggestions and one of them was an open garden.  It was only open for two days and it was the last time it would be open.  I suddenly remembered reading about a similar garden in Country Style and sure enough it was the same one.

On Thursday we visited Whitley.  We have never attended an open garden before but I will say I really enjoyed it.  We were definitely the youngest people there but that didn't matter.  Actually it seems to be a bit of a recurring theme for us.  The gardens were spectacular and I really appreciated all the work that went into them, however part of me couldn't help but think that with all that space maybe they could have a few cows, sheep, and chickens.  If I had all that land I would be running the largest hobby farm I could imagine.

The sun is now setting and work awaits me tomorrow, but I feel good.  I have the energy to get through work until the next holiday and I also have an overflow of inspiration to allow me to daydream a little each day.  And isn't that what a holiday is all about?  Energy, inspiration and creating memories with those you love, at least that is what it is all about for me.

Holidays

On Sunday in our attempts to get out of the house, we ended up doing the most Central Coast thing possible.  We somehow found ourselves with fish and chip sitting by the water.  No points for originality but it was a good time all the same.  I needed to soak up the sun and breathe in some fresh air.  It was relaxing and it was nice for Hubby and I to talk about a few things outside the house.

Yesterday my family came up.  I somehow thought it would be a great idea for us to all make pizzas for dinner.  From scratch.  I have only ever done this once before and that was years ago.  The kitchen that was so perfectly clean for their arrival now looks like a flour bomb has gone off.  It was all worth it as the pizzas were amazing and I have decided that freshly made dough is the only way to eat a pizza.  Mum and I covered ours with pepperoni, olives, anchovies and garlic.  Oh my mouth is still watering just thinking about it.  Hubby was disgusted at our creation and stuck with his ham and pineapple, but I reminded him that I have never been one to go with the crowd.  Afterwards myself, Hubby and my Bro chilled out in the rumpus with home made cocktails.  Bliss.

Today is of course Melbourne Cup, I have the dress, the shoes and the fascinator.  But first I need to take Raz off to the vets for his shots.  My family and I are heading out for a 3 course lunch in front of a big screen TV, right on the beach.  Should be another great day.  We popped down to the local newsagent/post office/TAB with token bottle shop next door (there is also a hairdresser and that completes the shopping 'village') and for only the second time this year I bought a lotto ticket.  So did mum, and we agreed to halve all winnings ($50 million please) we also each paid for a Carnival Combo Mystery Bet (one of them had Americain so here's hoping).  That is the only way I know how to put money on a horse.  Although last year we did Melbourne Cup with the girls at work and one of the girls ended up winning just over $2,000 on her Carnival Combo, hopefully drinks are on me tonight.

Do you have anything planned for today?

Hip Hip Hooray

As of 3:30pm tomorrow I am officially on holidays and I could not be happier (well maybe if I win the $100 mil I probably would be).  Hubby and I have not had a break since our honeymoon which ended over 6 months ago.  This break is quite overdue.  

We have nothing planned.  We may or may not go away, but The Boys are booked into the kennels pet resort for a few nights just in case.  I have made it clear that we are to spend no more than 2 days in the house, we need to get out and do stuff.  It has been just over 2 years since we left Sydney and we really don't know the Central Coast all that well.  We just live here.  Yet there is always a mass exodus from Sydney every school holidays when they flood in here and take over visit, so there must be something going on around here that I do not know about.  It is time we explored 'The Coast', after all we need to face the fact that we are now "Coasties" (much to certain Sydney people's horror).

Not too sure where to start, Hubby and I are big food and wine people.  The food here is, well, I am from Sydney so let's just leave it at that, as for the wine, there is a fruit winery, and I have been there so that covers that.  But there are beaches of course and lakes, and lots of things for the kids to do.  I have an Entertainment Book so we are going to go through that, rip out a voucher and go exploring.

At the end of the day it doesn't matter so much what we do, but that we do it together.  We need to spend time having fun and away from the drama of work and the stress of the house.  We need to rest, relax and get ourselves ready for a hectic November and December.  After all we need to work to live not live to work.

The Dog Test

I stumbled upon this Parenting Test the other day as I was surfing the web and then I started thinking.  What would a dog test look like for someone considering getting a dog....

The Dog Test 

Test 1

Spend a day going to every hairdresser within a 50 km radius of your house.  Collect all the swept up hair that was cut that day and place in a garbage bag.  You will need several bags.  When you get home empty the bags all over the house, ensuring each room has a collection of hair on the floor and noting also to spread over the furniture and a few items of clothing (black is ideal).  Do not get the vacuum just yet, try to live with it.

Test 2

Drink lots and lots of water.  When you need to go to the toilet just take your undies off and go where you are standing, carpet is a better choice than tiles.  Once done, clean it up.  Ensure that you also try and find a few spots to go that are in hard to reach corners, such as behind an armchair.  This way the mess cannot be seen and can only be smelt a few days later.  

Test 3

Go to a local daycare/playcentre and ask to borrow all the plastic play balls the kids play with.  Dump these balls onto the kitchen floor ensuring full coverage.  Now attempt to make dinner without stepping on any balls.

Test 4

When you have a few moments of quite time find your favourite chair and read a book/watch a DVD/ do whatever makes you happy.  Have a family member jump up on you and climb over you as much as possible.  Attempt to continue on with your activity.

Test 5

Go for a walk.  Stop for 30 seconds at every object that comes from the ground, both natural and artificial, notice that your 15 minute walk suddenly turns into a 30 minutes one.  Ideally go to the toilet on this walk, preferably not long after leaving and carry it with you for the rest of the way.

Test 6

Whenever you have something important to do at home, have a family member stand at the back door and scratch away at it while making dog like noises until it drives you to the point of letting them inside the house.

Test 7

Every time you sit down at the table to eat have a family member sit on the floor and start to jump up on you, have them scratch your leg and when you do not give them food straight away have them start barking at you.   Finish your meal.

Can you think of any other tests to include?

A Funny Thing Happened This Morning

 

Hubby has two cars, his normal car and then he has his sports car.  An old yellow Mazda something-or-other that he bought when he was single and did up when he was single.  He is always meant to be selling it.  It was originally going to be sold to help pay for some of the costs of moving in together, then later to help buy the block of land, then to help with the wedding and most recently to assist with finishing off the house.  It still sits in the garage and I no longer factor in the several thousand that we could have.

Hubby has a really bad habit of clearing out his car and leaving everything in a bag that he just dumps at random in the garage.  I ask him to bring it inside the kitchen and we can sort it out together.  It never amounts to much stuff, just a few random items that would take less than 5 minutes to put away.  We went to a BBQ the other night.  I made a dish and brought with me a large serving of rice to go with it.  The rice was in one of Mum's old Corningware dishes.  Classic retro.  Before we went home that night our host gave us a nice bottle of wine.  As we pulled into the drive we collected what we could and left the rest for the morning, which somehow never happened.  Well Hubby cleared the car out a few days ago and left these items in a bag in the garage.  I refused to move them.  I snapped.  I had enough.  Everyday since I would come home, open the garage and see this bag staring at me, but I remained firm, I was not going to touch the bag.

Hubby felt this morning he would take the yellow car to work and give it a run.  I kissed him goodbye and as I went to fix my hair I heard the car engine rev up.  I heard him move down the drive and then I heard the engine sitting idle.  I stuck my head out the front door and the car was on the other side of the road and in the middle of the road was this bag of 'stuff'.  He had forgotten he had placed the bag behind the yellow car and therefore failed to move the bag out of the way, and as he reversed the bag went with him.  Hubby was walking across the road picking up a few items.  A large 4WD doing about 90km (in a 60 zone) came speeding along, Hubby got out of the way and this idiot driver hit the Corningware.  I heard the pop of his tyre, and saw the splatter of glass and china go everywhere followed by a shower of rice.  The driver turned the corner and was gone and I stood in the front door unsure whether to laugh or cry.  Hubby walked up to me. At least he had saved the wine.

A Little Passion For Wine

I was a nerd at school (and yes parts of that have carried through) aside from the odd swig of beer from Dad when I was a kid (that I couldn't stand the taste) I actually didn't drink until I was 18.  I started on "Stollies" (Vodka and Lemon) that was really all I could stomach.  A few months after turning 18 I went to stay with my Aunt and Uncle in Victoria.  My cousin was in Year 12 with me and my parents thought I needed a break in scenery and sent me down to study with him.  My Uncle was a huge Wine Buff.  I remember for dinner he opened a bottle of red and asked if I wanted a glass, I told him I was not sure.  He poured me some, I didn't like it.  He laughed and told me that red wine was an acquired taste and that I needed to stick with it and after several attempts I would be able to drink a full glass.

I do not know why, but it stuck and I did persevere with it.  Within a few weeks I could drink a glass of red.  In fact that was all I could drink, I wasn't even into white.  So while my friends started drinking 'Breezers' I was into the more finer things in life.

Sure enough as life went on, my palate for wine developed and I was off on day trips to the Hunter Valley educating myself.  Let me be clear though, for I want to establish that I am not one of those people.  The ones starting with a W, or a wine snob.  I just knew what I liked and what I didn't and I wasn't afraid to say it.  I was not carrying a notebook with me and standing in a cellar door bragging that I could make the distinction between American Oak and French Oak in the 2002 Shiraz.  No, I was the one that told the nice young man behind the counter that I prefer my white wines with balls.

Having altered our road trip Honeymoon to include a few wine tours, you could say that wine is a little bit of a hobby for me.  And I would have to agree.  So when it came time to pick a name for the newest member of our family I knew it would need to be a wine, just like Mr C.  We decided on Shiraz, Hubby only agreed to this because in public we could just yell out 'Raz' or 'Razzie'.  Although now that he has come into our lives I hear Hubby yelling out "Shirazie" all the time.  Seems someone else has turned into a little wine snob themselves.

Dear Hubby, Six Months

Have we really been married half a year already? Sometimes I look at you and struggle to believe we are actually married.  But then I struggle to remember my life before you.  It just seems you have always been there by my side.

The last three months have been a little tough.  Life became so busy and we were immersed in everything that needed to be done.  Our heads were down churning through everything and we didn't take the time to look across at each other and smile.  We talked everyday but I think for a few weeks we just didn't connect.  The words "marriage is work" echoed in my head and we stopped and looked at each other.  "Hello, I am so glad to see you again".  We realised that no matter what, we needed to make "us" a priority, and put "us" first before everyone/everything else.  It was good.  We talk now, just like before but also deeper.  We connect and I believe we are working as a new team, more in sync than ever before.

I am starting to see that things are different now, different to when we were just living together.  There is power in those promises and commitments we made to each other, in front of our families, sealed with a ring and signing our Certificate of Marriage.  I was told the other day that the first 3 years of marriage are the hardest.  If that is the case then I know we have nothing to worry about, but then we have always known this was for a lifetime.

I smile when I call you my husband.  It still feels new to me.  In fact only yesterday I almost signed my old name and had to pause as my pen hit the paper as I suddenly remembered I share your name now. I find myself most days looking down at my ring and smiling, remembering The Day. 

To you my Husband, Happy 6 Months, our married life is truly just beginning and we have so many exciting things coming up I know the next 6 months are going to be even better.  With all my Love, your Wife.

The Rural Escape - Reason #1

One reason I set up this blog was because I wanted a space to dream about our goal of one day living in rural Australia on a very large parcel of land with all the animals and plants we can possibly get away with.  I love where I am now, but I do get frustrated, so in an attempt to focus on my goal, make me smile and get out all my frustrations, I felt it was time to start making a list of reasons why we want this dream.

I want our Rural Escape so I can walk around my backyard naked if I choose too.  Now, I do not walk around my backyard naked here.  I have never walked around naked outside my house ever before in my life.  However, should I suddenly feel like doing so, it would be nice to know I would have the freedom to step out the back door and go for a stroll in total confidence that no one can see me.

Our house now.  On the Eastern side, we sit above our neighbour, we can see everything that goes on in their backyard, including the recent birthday party they had for one of the children.  We can also see what goes on in the backroom as the large windows do not have any window dressings.  Just to be clear, we do not make a habit of looking over, we are not those kind of neighbours, and I make a point of keeping my head down and not looking over, but we can if we want.

To our West, our neighbours are higher than us and as such can sneak a look into our yard.  I know this because our sliding door faces directly from a bedroom window in the neighbours house and when a van pulled up in front of our house with our blinds, I went around every room pulling off the sheets we used as a temporary cover and there was our neighbour 'having a sticky' from her window.  The first of many such "Stickys".

Hubby and I are very private people, we like our lives to be private and we respect other people's privacy, Hubby is from a small acreage himself.  It would just be really nice to walk outside knowing no one can see you.  In a world where everything is recorded having our own truly private oasis would be a little slice of heaven.

Mix Tape

I had the sudden urge on the weekend to get stuck into the 'junk room' of the house.  The one room with all the remaining boxes.  We are down to the really old stuff now, the stuff that was boxed up in the back of our wardrobes before we even met.  I found at least 50 cassette tapes.  Remember those?? I also found an old portable tape player (not a Walkman, this was a tape Dictaphone), and yes it still worked.  I was in early 90's pre teen HEAVEN!!

So many memories, I remember the Top 40 Countdown on Sunday nights and I would sit in my room listening with a tape in the tape deck and my finger just above the record button (tape, deck, button, I am so old) just waiting for the DJ to stop so I could record the song.  And you had to be ready for the end, so you could press stop just as the ad came on.  I would sit happily for a few hours doing my own thing recording the songs I wanted.  Then on the Monday when I came home from school I would put my mix tape on and listen to the songs, and there was always at the start and end of each song the last few words of the DJ or the first few words of an ad, and then the next song would start.  If you really liked a song you would have to rewind it and stop and start and stop and start to find the start of the song.  Tough, but on the weekend I longed for those days.

Then there was uni.  My uni was really up on technology.  They recorded the lectures.  So if you weren't big on attending the lectures (like me), it was wonderful.  On Friday morning you would go to the library and enter through the special door into the Reserve and walk up to the shelves covered in cassette tapes.  You would pick up the tapes from all your lectures that week and walk into a special room that had a very special machine.  You would empty your bag and pull out the 10 cassette tapes you brought with you and into the machine goes your tape and the lecture tape and in less than 5 minutes you had copied that lecture onto your tape.  Then at home I would listen to my lecture, stop, start, rewind, fast forward and then do it all again the following week. In my third year I discovered I could enrol myself in the subject externally and the Distance Education Department would just post me the tapes.  Those were the days.

Finally, not long after uni, inspired by those early reality TV shows, I felt I needed to learn to sing.  My singing teacher asked me to bring in tapes and would record our lessons so I could go home, listen and practice.  I found those tapes on the weekend.  It should have been uncomfortable, but it wasn't.  I remember how much I enjoyed singing and I found myself smiling at all the silly things she had me sing.  It was a time I had forgotten about until now and it has stuck.  I didn't care back then what I did, I did whatever it was that made me happy, and I need to inject a little of that back into my life each day.  Now please tell me I am not the only one that remembers cassette tapes!

Changes

Things have been busy around here.  Mostly I have been busy.  I am not sure what it was exactly but in the last few weeks I have looked really hard at myself and my life.  I have known for a while I was going to reach this point because things have been uncomfortable.  In fact I was eagerly waiting for this point to happen.  It wasn't a moment as such, I didn't have a sudden realisation and suddenly everything changed, but more a growing awareness and for the last few weeks looking in.  As I look back now I can see that things have changed, permanently and for the better, but I cannot pinpoint an exact moment in time.

Basically it was time I walked my walk.  Time to live true to my values.  I think my health was the biggest thing.  I have known for a long time now what is wrong and what I need to do about it, but I have only ever put in minimal effort.  It was time I stopped talking about what I needed to be doing and just do it.  

A few weeks ago I started on some affirmations I have had for years.  Another thing I knew I should do, but never did.  I was meant to read them out loud in front of the mirror.  I couldn't even look myself in the mirror and say "I love you".  I started just reading them, a few days later I said them out loud, although it was just a whisper.  But each day my voice started to get louder.  I then repeated them in front of the mirror, but I wouldn't take my eyes of the sheet of paper.  Now I stare at myself in the mirror and say my affirmations out loud, to myself, with a smile.  I can even say "I Love You.".  

It is this single act alone of reading my affirmations that has enable me to completely change my life.  I come home now, and instead of sitting on the couch for 3 hours (and then complain the next day I have no time for anything) I get housework done, I cook, I clean, I spend time with Hubby just talking.  I play with the dogs, I read, I talk to my family on the phone.  I get the bills and other paperwork sorted.  I wake up in the morning and I walk, I have breakfast, I get the dogs ready, I make lunch.  I get to work and as soon as I sit at my desk I get started.  In every aspect of my life I am more productive than I ever have been.

I am happy now, I truly feel that I am now creating the life I always wanted.  There is still so much to do, and it isn't always easy, but now I am moving forward.  I think before I was just in a rut, it wasn't laziness per se, but more habit.  It was comfortable and really, I didn't know any different, but with that was the uncomfortable feeling that something wasn't right, that my dreams were just that, dreams, a fantasy life I was not on the path to achieving.  But now I feel I am on that path heading in the right direction.  I am not even sure of the end point, I don't even think there has to be one, for now it is about health and wellness and putting first what matters most and throwing out all the meaningless crap, physical, mental and emotional, it is time to stop planning for my life and to begin to live it.

Smile

 There is a golf club up the road with a bright LED sign.  The sign is right on the boundary so that anyone driving past can clearly read it.  It advertises the bistro specials, particular golf days and then it tells you to smile.  I first noticed it a couple of months ago as I was waiting at the lights (the sign is placed just behind the lights) it told me about a lunch special and then a smiley face appeared with the word "Smile" next to it.  I had to double check I wasn't seeing things, it was completely random.  But it was there and then it was back to the lunch specials.  The lights changed and as I drove passed I smiled.

Since then I always notice it.  I smile everytime, sometimes when I smile I realise I must have had quite a frown on my face.  Everything feels better.  I look for the sign now, I look for the smile.  Sometimes as I drive passed, it doesn't, but I smile anyway.  In my head I am saying "Tell me to Smile!"  I want to see the face I want to smile.  I don't know why they do it, what they wanted to achieve but I like it, I smile, it makes the day better, as random as it is, although I am yet to still try the bistro.

This week and a half has been busy.  A puppy is so much work, I don't remember this much energy being spent on Mr C, but I am sure it was.  But I am smiling.  I might not have time for much else now and the kitchen bench may not be cleared and the items for ebay are still waiting to have their picture taken but I am smiling.  Raz is getting bigger already, and this is such a brief period.  He will be an adult before we know it, and he will loose his little baby noises, and his soft fur and I won't be able to pick him up with one hand.  As much work as he is, he makes me smile everytime and I can say now that he has fit into our family perfectly, and I am happy with the four of us.  Me and My Boys.

Introducing Raz

I decided to take this week off work to help Raz settle in.  We took Mr C home just before Christmas and we already had a week and a half off and it was good to have that time to settle him in, and most importantly toilet train him.  I decided to take a week off to do the same for Raz, I didn't want to bring him home and the next day leave him alone for 8 hours.  My timesheet at work says I am on Recreation Leave.  Hubby made the mistake of saying I was on holidays.  I wish.  I need a holiday.  I personally think I am on maternity leave.

I actually thought having a week off would give me time to do stuff around the house as well as play mum.  Things I struggle to find the time to do, like rearrange the pantry, get into our junk room that still has unopened boxes and unpack a few more things (that clearly we don't need if we have gone this long without).  I even thought I would be able to list a load of unwanted items on ebay.  Instead I have done a trillion loads of washing and mopping the floors, twice.  Being Wednesday I think the pantry is going to have to wait another couple of weeks or so.  

Everyone feels the need to comment that I should get used to it, because when we decide to have a family it will be like this but worse.  This is usually said by people who already have kids, or our parents who have been there done that.  This comment is always followed with a loud laugh, an apparent inside joke that we are not yet in on.  It is not helpful, nor is hubby when he said to me last night that I do not appear to be suited to 'Housewife'.  He almost slept on the couch.

So welcome to the family Raz, mum and dad love you, although we are a little frustrated with your zero warning signs when it comes to peeing, and as for our first born, your big brother Mr C, well, all I can say is that he has no choice but to accept you, and I am sure in due course he will.  I hope.