Reflections

Hubby and I started 2012 with only 2 goals set for the year.  The first was to move into the house that was 2 years in the making and the second was to get married.  We knew that both these goals would be achieved in the first half of the year, but did not want to set any goals for the second half of the year because we felt we just wouldn't have anything left in us after those two goals.  We were right.  In fact it has only been in the last month or so that I have started to feel the urge to set some more goals and start achieving again.

A month before our wedding we moved into our first house.  It was just over two years from when we paid the initial deposit on the land and the journey to that point was a tough one, and a huge learning experience.  I love our house and I love that in the end we got there.  People ask if we would do it again.  The answer is No.  If we could go back we wouldn't have taken this path, but that does not mean we regret it, we have no regrets.  I still walk around our house, knowing I am free to hang up a picture and change the paint colour and I feel I am in dream.  Sometimes it doesn't seem real and I have to pinch myself.  Hubby and I worked hard for this and it was worth it.  We are both so fortunate to live here and to live in our beautiful house.

Then there was the wedding.  It was an intimate affair, we ran away to the country, 6 hours from home, rented out a 100 year old Summer House and eloped.  We did invite our parents and siblings and Hubby's godparents, and they were our only guests.  We were married in a little white country church and the bell was rung by my brother after the ceremony.  We were driven around in a 1950's Jag for our photos before our late lunch reception in the Great Hall of the Summer House.  It was autumn, both fireplaces were roaring and all 10 of us sat around one table in front of the fire.  There were tears of joy, smiles and lots of laughter.  After the photographer left we all changed into more relaxing clothing and chatted by the fire.  Hubby and I finally had a chance to be alone and we sat in our spa for half an hour talking about the day.  Finally, we were Husband and Wife.  We then joined our families for a light supper of home made soup where the night was spent eating, drinking and singing.  The next day our families left and we had a day to relax before embarking on a month long road trip Honeymoon.

The second half of the year has been spent working on our house and settling into married life.  For the first time in our relationship we had the chance to just Be.  2012 has been the best year of my life and it will always be a special year for us.  I look back on this year with so many happy memories and I can only look back and smile.

Drama Drama Drama

I used to be a drama junkie when I was a teenager.  I think almost all teenagers are.  Then at some point, around my mid twenties, I didn't like it anymore.  I simply ran out of time for drama as I had more important things to do.  So I said goodbye to drama and embraced a more relaxed life. Really, who has the time or the energy.

This was working well until we found ourselves with a wedding and house at almost the same time.  This week I have had major wedding issues.  I have people not responding to my emails, other people not following through and I am currently in panic mode about invitations.  Yes I lost sleep over bits of cardboard that will sit on a fridge for a month and then find themselves in a bin.  

And then today I finally had a response from our reception venue, the place our whole wedding party is staying at for two nights to inform me that our contact person is no longer there anymore.  The owner will be dealing with it.  This shouldn't worry me but it does.  The other person said yes to everything and now I am worried the owner will turn around and say no.  No we cannot use the good china, no we cannot take the chaise lounge out onto the lawn for photos. Right now I am too afraid to find out.

When I came home today and opened up the mail there was a letter from our builder saying the house was finished and we need to arrange our final payment.  Coincidentally J was around at the house checking it out.  He informed me that we have a/c ducts but no a/c unit.  The bathrooms are titled and the showers installed but no shower screens.  We have a hole in the ceiling.  The downpipes haven't been connected into the ground and the bedrooms at the back have cupboards with no doors.  

I don't like all this drama, it is exhausting.  And I feel that it is all out of my control.  I want to press the pause button and have a holiday and not deal with anything, just for a week.  All the girls at work assure me that weddings are never perfect and stuff goes wrong and I accept that.  I just assumed it would happen on the day.  Not now.  I also assumed when the house was finished, it was in a position where we could just turn up with our boxes and move in.  The only cure is to breathe and take time out and have some fun.  Because as drama filled as life is for us right now, it is really exciting.  Two things we have been dreaming about are about to come true.  After so long we can finally see the light at the end, and the other side looks better than we ever dreamt of.

Another Night

I fell into bed around 8pm tonight.  So naturally I woke up at 12 ready to start my day.  J was up and he had the lights on which I think was what woke me, so I crawled out of bed and he crawled into it.  Our builder informed us on Monday that practical completion is two weeks away.  J is very excited.  I am going to wait until we have signed the paperwork.  Everyone assured us we would be in before Christmas and clearly that never happened.

I'm not trying to be negative, I like to think of it as being realistic.  Of course since Monday I have had trouble sleeping as I cannot switch off my thoughts.  The electrician rang to inform me he will he there next Wednesday and to remind me we need to bring along our lights and fans.  The ones we have been meaning to purchase.  I struggled at work because I couldn't focus and every chance I had I was searching for the things we needed.  On top of that my phone wouldn't stop ringing from wedding people.  I'm wondering if I should just give it all to our wedding planner.  I only wanted her to do a few things for us, mainly create a beautiful reception with decorations, but now I am seriously considering I should just give her the rest of my to do list.

So here I sit, almost 3am.  Mr C at my feet, because Mr C is a total Mummy's Boy.  I'm glad the weather is terrible and our plans for Australia Day have fallen through.  I am not up for going to the races in the rain.  We are off to the shops to find things we need and then the house to measure the windows because according to one curtain person I tried to obtain a quote from, there is no way the window sizes stated on the plans are the same as those in the house.  Seriously? 

It is not all bad, I am taking breaks by looking at Honeymoon places.  We really need to start booking those.  The honeymoon has been hard because we could go anywhere, where do you start.  Seeing as the House and Wedding are too close together we have decided on a three week honeymoon and to come back and spend time in the House getting it just the way we want it.  Save the overseas trip for another time, which is the plan, but who knows what will happen.  

A lot of people "joke" that we will get pregnant on the honeymoon.  I think for some family members they are really hoping it comes true.  I smile and say the only baby we will be coming home with is another pug.  Once we have the house we are going to get a little buddy for Mr C.  That will keep us busy for a long time.  And really, whose business is it anyway. 

Another Weekend

With the wedding so close now our weekends are getting clogged with wedding stuff.  This morning mum and I went to my appointment for my calico fitting of my dress.  My designer is amazing, she showed me the fabric she had sourced and everything was just perfect.  It was even better than what I could ever think of for my dream dress.  She put me into the calico cut out and everything just worked, she knew exactly what I needed for my shape and I was literally bouncing up and down from excitement.  In three weeks I go back and that is when I get to see my dress in its shape with the material.

As we walked back to the car, we passed a homewares shop that was closing down.  I managed to purchase a few cushions for the sofa and a great clock for our new kitchen.  If it isn't wedding to do's then it is all about the house.  Our builder is 90% sure we will be in our house in six weeks.  

So here I sit.  Working through my swamped inbox, starting to book our honeymoon, find music for the wedding, arrange dance classes and source coloured wedding shoes.  On top of that I'm trying to book in appointments for quotes for window furnishings and googling do-it-yourself decking.  

It is raining again this weekend so we have not been able to go out to the house to continue working on the garden.  That also means that our storage shed has to wait another week.  Tomorrow's plans have gone out the window but there is still plenty of boxes that need to be ticked and as long as I can keep ticking them off I can keep my stress levels down.  And should my stress levels get a little too out of control I do have my little stash of wines I can open, pour a glass, sit out looking over the lake, take a deep breath and remember, the wedding is one day, a mere 12 hours, and the house, the house will never be finished, it will be an ongoing labour of love.

Over It

I thought planning a wedding was going to be fun.  And it was to start off with but now that it is getting close and there is still so much to do I am completely over it.  Tonight I feel like I have come home to do my other job.  Fill in forms and send emails and complete a checklist.  I crossed off the big stuff early on, the location, the reception and the photographer.  Then I took a little break and got back into it again by finding my dress designer, picking a theme and finally giving up and hiring a wedding planner.

And now what is left is all the boring, small stuff, like arranging the car hire, and trying to figure out what gifts we should have.  Don't even ask about the honeymoon.  That is another to do item.  As is our new house, which is also at crunch time and now I need to get that together.  Still need to arrange curtains, pay the balance on the carpet, find a tiler and organise a fence.  And that is just the start.  We did not plan a wedding and house at the same time.  It just happened that way.  That is our life.  It is either all or nothing and as exhausting and frustrating as it can be I really don't think I would have it any other way.