Rural Dreaming @ Work

There are no windows in our office.  We only have windows at the front and the front is reception and the manager's office.  We are behind the wall and wherever I look I see walls.  Clients come to me and say it's hot or cold or a storm is coming.  I smile and nod.  I have no idea.  I wish I could see, I wish I could sit and gaze out of a window, just for a minute.  Stretch my eyes, my body, my mind, steal a few moments for slipping into another world.

Our lunch room is made up of 4 walls, none have a window. But it isn't just a lunch room, it is our archive room so when sitting down to eat, 3 of the 4 walls are filled with old files, watching, encroaching, suffocating.  I don't bother going outside anymore to escape, beyond the building it is dirty and noisy and rough and everyday the cops are called to deal with a situation at the bus terminal down the road.

I'm over the cabin fever now.  I am used to these walls, the subtle feeling of compression no longer bothers me.  My eyes are used to all the artificial lightening.  I dream about escaping, about an office with windows and fresh air.  About seeing the sun from my desk and being close enough to stick my hand out and feel it's rays.

I have a picture on one wall of my little cubicle. A picture of a worn track leading from one paddock into another and wrapping itself out of the frame.  The sky is overcast and looking at the picture I can feel myself standing on the track wrapping my coat tighter over me and taking deep breaths, allowing the cool crisp air to fill my lungs, my body, bringing me back to life.  I see myself walking along the track, it takes the turn and I run through the green grass. Childish laughter explodes out of my body as I run around in freedom with nothing holding me back.

As a run I spin around a few times and purposefully fall to the ground. My hands search over the grass, the soft edges tickling away whatever anxiety I had left. Looking up I see home. I casually walk through the grass and up onto the verandah and make my way into my study. My desk is directly in front of the window. I open the window and allow the fresh air to fill the room. I sit and gaze through the frame and all around I can see the fulfilment of my rural dreams. And the memories of my time working in an office have been stuffed in a box down the back of the mind in a place not to be opened again.