I stumbled upon this Parenting Test the other day as I was surfing the web and then I started thinking. What would a dog test look like for someone considering getting a dog....
The Dog Test
Test 1
Spend a day going to every hairdresser within a 50 km radius of your house. Collect all the swept up hair that was cut that day and place in a garbage bag. You will need several bags. When you get home empty the bags all over the house, ensuring each room has a collection of hair on the floor and noting also to spread over the furniture and a few items of clothing (black is ideal). Do not get the vacuum just yet, try to live with it.
Test 2
Drink lots and lots of water. When you need to go to the toilet just take your undies off and go where you are standing, carpet is a better choice than tiles. Once done, clean it up. Ensure that you also try and find a few spots to go that are in hard to reach corners, such as behind an armchair. This way the mess cannot be seen and can only be smelt a few days later.
Test 3
Go to a local daycare/playcentre and ask to borrow all the plastic play balls the kids play with. Dump these balls onto the kitchen floor ensuring full coverage. Now attempt to make dinner without stepping on any balls.
Test 4
When you have a few moments of quite time find your favourite chair and read a book/watch a DVD/ do whatever makes you happy. Have a family member jump up on you and climb over you as much as possible. Attempt to continue on with your activity.
Test 5
Go for a walk. Stop for 30 seconds at every object that comes from the ground, both natural and artificial, notice that your 15 minute walk suddenly turns into a 30 minutes one. Ideally go to the toilet on this walk, preferably not long after leaving and carry it with you for the rest of the way.
Test 6
Whenever you have something important to do at home, have a family member stand at the back door and scratch away at it while making dog like noises until it drives you to the point of letting them inside the house.
Test 7
Every time you sit down at the table to eat have a family member sit on the floor and start to jump up on you, have them scratch your leg and when you do not give them food straight away have them start barking at you. Finish your meal.
Can you think of any other tests to include?
No, I think you have pretty much covered ... hang on, I need to go let in the scratcing dog ... it all. what happens when you already have several and your advice came too late? :-)
ReplyDeleteVery funny post.
Several! How do you do it, having two is almost sending me over the edge :)
DeleteVery funny post, I enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteHow about bath, you know how you get all nice and clean and then shake the water all over the walls and then go outside and rub yourself in something smelly and then come inside to continue the drying on the best rug in the house.
Yes!! I don't know what upsets me more, the mess in the house or the fact they are no longer clean and I just wasted half an hour.
Delete