Reflections

Hubby and I started 2012 with only 2 goals set for the year.  The first was to move into the house that was 2 years in the making and the second was to get married.  We knew that both these goals would be achieved in the first half of the year, but did not want to set any goals for the second half of the year because we felt we just wouldn't have anything left in us after those two goals.  We were right.  In fact it has only been in the last month or so that I have started to feel the urge to set some more goals and start achieving again.

A month before our wedding we moved into our first house.  It was just over two years from when we paid the initial deposit on the land and the journey to that point was a tough one, and a huge learning experience.  I love our house and I love that in the end we got there.  People ask if we would do it again.  The answer is No.  If we could go back we wouldn't have taken this path, but that does not mean we regret it, we have no regrets.  I still walk around our house, knowing I am free to hang up a picture and change the paint colour and I feel I am in dream.  Sometimes it doesn't seem real and I have to pinch myself.  Hubby and I worked hard for this and it was worth it.  We are both so fortunate to live here and to live in our beautiful house.

Then there was the wedding.  It was an intimate affair, we ran away to the country, 6 hours from home, rented out a 100 year old Summer House and eloped.  We did invite our parents and siblings and Hubby's godparents, and they were our only guests.  We were married in a little white country church and the bell was rung by my brother after the ceremony.  We were driven around in a 1950's Jag for our photos before our late lunch reception in the Great Hall of the Summer House.  It was autumn, both fireplaces were roaring and all 10 of us sat around one table in front of the fire.  There were tears of joy, smiles and lots of laughter.  After the photographer left we all changed into more relaxing clothing and chatted by the fire.  Hubby and I finally had a chance to be alone and we sat in our spa for half an hour talking about the day.  Finally, we were Husband and Wife.  We then joined our families for a light supper of home made soup where the night was spent eating, drinking and singing.  The next day our families left and we had a day to relax before embarking on a month long road trip Honeymoon.

The second half of the year has been spent working on our house and settling into married life.  For the first time in our relationship we had the chance to just Be.  2012 has been the best year of my life and it will always be a special year for us.  I look back on this year with so many happy memories and I can only look back and smile.

Lessons Learned

I hope Santa was good to you.  He was good to me, although apparently one particular gift which Santa thought best to send registered post did not make it on time, but that just means another surprise later on this week.  Santa did give me the entire DVD collection of McLeod's Daughters, very Rural Dreaming indeed.  

And did you have a good Christmas Day?  Ours was interesting.  It was our first ever Christmas that we had in our new place and was a VERY good trial run for next year when both families will be coming over.  It was Hubby and I and his parents.  We made Buttermilk Pancakes for breakfast which worked out really well.  I then spent over 3 hours slaving away getting lunch ready in the kitchen.  I was so prepared, I had the recipes and every single ingredient ready to go and I followed it all to The T.  By 2:30pm people were getting hungry and I still wasn't happy with the lamb.  But I took it out and hoped the veggies would start to crisp up soon.  I didn't want to serve this any later than 3pm (at the start of the day I had planned for 1pm).  Hubby was in the kitchen trying to help me and it was at this time as we were trying our best to put a bodged up meal together he pointed out to me that the oven was set to grill, not oven.  I laughed, I had to, I was just over it.

Lunch was served and everyone raved about the potato bake.  That turned out great as I squeezed it onto the top shelf of the oven so that was cooked really well on the grill setting.  As for the veggies, they were cooked but not crispy and the lamb, well it was a little pink and my MIL has a thing about pink meat, if it isn't leather she won't touch it.  They were very polite and told me that the flavours were all there, which is a nice way of saying, "You tried and failed".  I redeemed myself with dessert, it was a store bought pudding but I made home made custard and I made it fresh as the pudding was cooking.  MIL told me I should have just bought custard from the shops and my FIL told me the custard wasn't ready as it wasn't thick enough.  I told them I was making it from scratch, so my FIL told me to add more custard powder.  I gave him a funny look and asked what was custard powder.  Skeptical as they were once they had a mouthful they swore they could never go back to store bought custard again.

So, at the end of the day, what did I learn from all this:

1) Perhaps Hubby and I should have a quite one next year with just the two of us (maybe three he joked - not funny).

2) When a recipe says to put the oven onto 170, check the oven is on the correct setting before moving onto step 2 of the recipe.

3) Find a better gravy recipe, red wine makes it purple.

4) When you are in the kitchen all day and your guests say that you shouldn't have gone to so much trouble (little late now isn't it?) and that you should have just bought everything from the shops and reheated it and that next year just have everyone bring a dish, take a deep breathe, walk away for a minute and remember that it is not personal, it is not about you.  It is not a criticism.

5) Seriously re-think next years plan that a merge of the two families means a merge of "Foodies" vs "Just add more custard powder" and exactly how will I manage that.

Stressed?

Just a little.  I am tired, as every day this week after work I have been running around doing things, then I get home rest a little and then start running around the house doing things before going to bed at 11, which is an hour past my usual bedtime.  We are having Christmas Day lunch at our house.  This was never meant to happen and was only decided upon less than two weeks ago.  Very long story.  Fortunately it will only be for four people.  Next year is another story that I will not worry about until maybe September.

On top of all this I am working up until 12pm on Monday 24th and tomorrow morning after a quick dash to Sydney for an appointment that cannot be cancelled we then have to race back to meet my in-laws, who are bringing with them my sister-in-law, her partner and her children who have never seen the house.  So of course we want to make the house looking as lovely as possible, but it is hard when I am also trying to get ready for Christmas Day.  A little voice in my head is saying "Welcome to Married Life".

The house is ok, clearly we won't show them the junk room cos the work in that has stalled of late and we are going to try our best to hide the yard, which after the recent bout of landscaping looks like a bomb has hit it.  Next year when we have everyone for Christmas the landscaping will be complete and we will have a lovely timber deck to sit out on and enjoy.  The house will be open to all and no room excluded and the walls will be covered with photos and mementos.  I think that is what annoys me most, how it still looks like a display home with very little personal touch.

Which brings me to one of my goals for 2013: Operation House to Home.  It is time to make this house truly ours and make it the house we see in our minds.  It will take a whole year (maybe more) but I want to be able to look around this time next year and be proud, and to feel that this is our place.

For now we will do the best we can, just to get through until the 28th when things have settled, we have seen both families and we can squeeze in just a little alone time before the New Year.  Better get back to it, the floors await my attention.

Goodbye

It's not personal, it's just that we like our privacy.  And with the slope of the land it does make things a little difficult.  I mean, admit it, I have seen you a few times sticking your head through the blinds of your daughter's bedroom window to have a little 'sticky' and next door to you the kids have also pulled themselves up to peer over the fence at our boys.  Besides, it is 2012 and we just haven't officially met, apparently people don't meet and greet their neighbours anymore, so really it was time.  We are having a big Christmas next year and the deck will be done so a little privacy would be nice, and in 12 months time our little hedge should be at least 2 metres, it also means we can open up our blinds and not have to stare at an ugly, bare Colorbond fence. 

Of course this is a work in progress, we have done what we can for now and will continue again in January when we sort the drainage out.  But I am happy that I can walk outside and see a little bit of green along the fence.  I will be honest with you, I went for practicality.  In a perfect world I would love a hedge of rich pink and white camellias.  But in a perfect world we would be on acreage and wouldn't even be able to see your rooftop, let alone hear your conversations (and what about your daughter's recent interest in R'n'B?  If we can hear it, maybe it is a little too loud for her).  

It is not your fault.  We wanted to move onto acreage, but with land prices these days, well, we had a choice, a unit in Sydney or a house up here with a little slither of yard, we chose the latter.  A little bit of green is better that none.  And lets face it.  We are not here forever, maybe 5 years, 6 at the most, and perhaps then you would have gone.  But I digress, we wanted privacy, so we choose a fast growing hedge, up to 2 metres in 12 months!  Thick and dense and it can grow up to 6 metres overall.  It is a native as well and can tolerate both full sun and part shade.  What's that?  You want the details to protect yourself from your other neighbours?  Sure, it is a variety of Lilly Pilly - Acmena Smithii "Goodbye Neighbours", subtle I know.

It's Over

I broke up with The Pill just over a month ago.  Before anyone informs my MIL and she starts making booties, let me just clarify that it is not for the reason you usually come off.  At least not yet.  As I have mentioned before I have PCOS, and The Pill is great for it, it hides everything and makes you believe that even if you have PCOS you don't really have it because The Pill fixes everything.  

Some of the symptoms of PCOS are: no periods, facial hair, acne, thinning of the hair and weight gain.  Being on The Pill the only symptoms I have are weight gain, insulin resistance and cysts.  I don't know if I suffer from anything else and therefore I feel I really don't know how bad the condition is.  And to be really honest, it does cause issues with fertility and as much as Hubby and I joke about not having children, the reality is we do want them and we would like to start seriously thinking about it in a year or so.  

So in the last month I felt it was time to 'get real' as Dr Phil would say.  I decided the best thing I could do was to get off The Pill and find out exactly what is going on with my body and just how badly I have this thing known as PCOS.  Then once I know what I am dealing with I can go about treating it and getting my body in much better shape so that some time in the not too distant future Hubby and I can start to plan an addition to our family.

For the last few weeks things have been good, I have had a lot of headaches which apparently is quite normal otherwise it has been a smooth transititon.  Interestingly I do feel that I have more mental clarity like a fog has been lifted.  I have read a lot about The Pill and I am starting to wonder if it may have been the main factor in having PCOS and insulin resistance in the first place.  I have been on it since an early teenager when I had a bad acne problem and The Dr put me on it to fix it.  It did fix it and the few times I came off it my acne blew up again so naturally I went running straight back onto The Pill.  But those days are over, it is time to fix things for good and get in shape for whatever the future may hold. 

Sugar

I was a child of the 80's and that meant one thing, Sugar.  It was back in the day when sugar was everywhere, and it was only the dentist that seemed to have an issue with it.  The 'tuck shop' at school (now called a canteen) was full of the stuff, there were no healthy meals, lunch was a mini pizza if that is what you so desired.  Then of course there was the old milk bar/general store that you would ride your bike to with your mates or brother/sister, fill up on lollies and head back home for a sugar frenzy.  And of course there were the parties.  Ah yes, parties where no one had any allergies or food sensitives and it was all sugar and white flour in all their glorious forms.  We were all addicted, we got onto the stuff early and it stuck, there were no boundaries, it was sugar freedom.

Then in the 90's when we all became moody teenagers (from too much sugar as a child perhaps?) sugar hung around to give us our high, we didn't do coffee, we did sugar.  Then after school I worked in retail for three years, in confectionery.  Which everyone tells me is their dream job but I can assure you the fantasy is NOT the reality.  I gained 10kg and I can never eat a Lindt ball again.  But I digress.

A few years ago as I was enjoying a delicious meal of Crispy Shredded Steak I suddenly found part of my tooth in my mouth.  Naturally having had a perfect dental history I freaked out.  The next day the dentist gave me a filling.  I was not prepared for it and as such was scared for life.  A few months before the wedding I went in for a check up and FIVE points where located for needing a filling.  I had three done as the other two could wait until later.

Yesterday I saw the dentist as I had a very painful tooth and had stage one of root canal.  If you have never had this done let me suggest that you do whatever you have to do to ensure you never have this treatment.  I already don't like dentists and now they are on The List.  I am sure there are lots of contributing factors but I believe it all comes back to the sugar.  All those years it slowly worked it's way through my mouth and now at the tender age of 30 I am having root canal.  It is time to take it out of my life, time to break up.  Sugar, you are on The List.

Grateful

Image

On Thursday morning I learned of the passing of Zig Ziglar, never have I been more upset about the loss of someone I have never met.

I was first introduced to the work of Zig Ziglar when I dabbled in Network Marketing over 10 years ago and was given a set of cassette tapes of his to listen to.  The network marketing didn't last but Zig Ziglar's message did.  There was something about that Southern accent and "You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want" that stuck to me.  I started where I always start when I embark on something new and that was with 'Success for Dummies', written of course by Zig Ziglar.  I devoured every page of that book, it was as if a light had been turned on and I knew from that point that I would have the life I had dreamt about.  Over time I started to listen to his recordings which by now were downloads on my ipod.  Not long after starting my "automobile university" I met Hubby, and reflecting now, I wonder if things would have been different had I not started the process of becoming a happier and more positive person. 

Around 6 months ago after the wedding was over and we were settled into our house I found myself once again drawn to Zig's message, I bought a few more downloads, ordered a couple of books and introduced Hubby to Zig as well.  A few months ago I started on the self talk card which I can say with total confidence has been the one thing in my life that has lead to so much change lately.  Hubby and I started talking about what we were hearing and began applying the principals Zig taught.  Things started to change for us and we knew that the life we wanted was possible.  

Although we are really only at the start of the journey I am so grateful that I was introduced to the work of Zig Ziglar so many years ago.  And even though he has passed he has left a lasting legacy, he has left an amazing body of work not to mention a family that lives his message each and every day and are teaching a new generation the message of their father.  And that itself makes me think, I know what I want my life to look like, but what legacy do I want to leave?