Am I on Holidays yet?

So far it has been a very interesting holiday.  Our weekend in the City was fantastic.  It was just what we needed the only thing wrong with it was the accomodation.  It was a mystery hotel that was meant to be 5 star.  I would say it was 4 tops.  And that was for the room we had which they told us was an upgrade.  The bed was awful I hardly slept the whole time.

When we went to pick up Mr C on Monday from FMIL we all were sitting around talking and we started talking about the wedding.  She asked what day of the week it was.  J and I looked at each other as we have told her at least 100 times the details.  When we said Friday she said she couldn't come as she was working.  Interesting.  I picked up Mr C and told J that we have a busy day tomorrow and it was time to leave.  FMIL then went on about how it wouldn't be a problem, surely she could find someone to cover her, but we made it quite obvious that we did not appreciate that comment.  I'm still angry about it.  I mean really, your son is getting married and you have to work?  Did I mention she had already bought the dress she is going to wear and it is black?  I suppose I should be thankful that it is not white.

Then yesterday J had a really nasty toothache and we have just come home from the dentist after emergency surgery.  As you do 4 days out from Christmas.  We really should have left the country for the 2 weeks.

So here I am.  Not bothered to do anything tonight and looking at the presents still to be wrapped.  There is always tomorrow.  Actually tomorrow we would like to have drinks at our house.  The kitchen is almost finished and the painting completed and as soon as the new year is over and done with the bathrooms will be started and finished and that is pretty much it.  Must remain positive and not continue to dwell on the fact that we were supposed to be in before Christmas.  

Time to go sweet talk J into going away for a few nights next week.  So far the time off has not been the relaxation/get out and live life break I was planning for.  It's just been life without physically going to an office for 8 hours a day.  And I still haven't managed to get everything done.  Tomorrow is another day.

It's a Quarter to 4 and I Need Milo

I'm awake.  I woke because I think I was hot and then I was tossing and turning which woke Mr C who then started whinging to get on the bed, which wasn't going to happen.  After fifteen more minutes I was awake so I figured I may as well get up.

I had a bout of insomnia about two years ago and whenever I got out of bed I would go and make Milo which somehow just made it all better.  We don't have Milo, because you know, it's not healthy.  We don't keep "junk" in the house.  We just buy it on the way home.  Which totally defeats the point of the no junk rule.  I think I am going to have to make an exception for Milo.  I need it now and there is nothing I can do about it.

So much to do.  I keep looking around, the study is a mess again.  I tidy it up but never completely and then it just gets messed up again.  And the kitchen needs doing.  And we need to pack which means I need to do a load of washing.  Why even bother going away, so much trouble.  Tonight after work is going to be so busy getting everything done.  It will be worth it, I am looking forward to some Mr C free time and indulging in the finer things.

After our long weekend we are going to spend the night with FMIL.  I really hope all the presents have arrived by then as I think next week will be our Christmas with them as they are going up North to be with J's sister.  After we get back from that I have booked myself into the day spa.  J can go and play golf and I will get pampered.  It's been too long.  

I think it's time I moved myself to the couch and watch my secret stash of DVD's that J can't stand.  Hello Mr Darcy.

So Close Now

Mr C showing off all the weeds at our future house, another thing to add to the "to do" list

Last week was just awful.  Everything just seemed to go wrong and I couldn't wait for it to be over.  I thought this week was going to be much better.  It hasn't turned out that way but somehow I just feel a little better.  

I only have two more days of work to go and then we are off for a long weekend in the City before having a two week break.  We need it and now that it is close I am already starting to feel better.  Slowly things are getting done and while I may still be stuck in some old habits (like eating Chocolate) I am in a much better head space.

My "to do" list is still big but I figure I have two weeks to get around to it.  I am not focusing on what I still have to do but just trying to take each day at a time.  Trying to keep the place tidy, keep my job up to date and just remain positive.  

I am looking forward to the break.  Looking forward to so much needed couple time with J, and getting out of the unit.  Spending days chillin out and then other days getting stuck into everything we need to do.  I'm even looking forward to spending a few days with family. 

Not sure what I will do tonight, potter about, read emails I have been putting off and do another load of washing.  And sweet talk J into ordering pizza even though our wallets and both our waistlines do not need it.  The end of the year is so close and I just need to keep holding my head high and see it through.  Things are getting better every single day.

It Is Too Hard

A reminder of our last holiday

Nothing has been done.  Nothing.  I am coming home from work soooo tired.  Last night I cancelled training and literally told my trainer that now I was home I wasn't going out again.  At least I was honest.  I was in bed at 8pm.  

This week I am finding myself falling in to old habits.  I don't know why.  Actually no I do.  I need a holiday.  I was having a week off and asked the boss if I could have another.  He said yes.  So now we are trying to find somewhere to go.  It is so close to Christmas and it will be the school holidays, what are we thinking?  Not only that but I think Mr C will have to go to future MIL as the kennels will probably be booked. 

But I need it.  I need a break from everything and some time out.  We do a lot of weekends away but I need more than 2 nights, I need a whole week.  I need to go away and instead of doing as much as possible I need to go with the flow.  Chill in the sun with a book or my ipod.  

Just booked mystery hotel deal in the City.  Never heard of the hotel and I was hoping it was something else but I am sure it will be great just the same.  Time for bed.

Breaking the Barrier

Yesterday after work we had training.  We get weighed every Monday.  I was so worried, I spent all day trying to think of a million excuses to use to get out of getting weighed.  I was so sure I would have gained weight and I kept telling myself that I don't care about my weight, that I just want to be happy and healthy.

When it came time to get on the scales I gave my trainer an earful about how strong I am and therefore I must be gaining muscle so I cannot expect to loose much in fact I probably gained.  Well not only did I loose but I finally cracked the 90kg barrier.  I have been trying to achieve that for almost 3 years now.  I have come close but never crossed it.  I crossed it and cleared it with 89.0.

I almost cried.  I was in shock.  Not only did I break the 90 but it also meant that I had now officially lost over 5kg.  In the past I have lost 3kg, maybe 4kg if I was lucky.  Never 5kg.  Two milestones at once.  I am still on my weigh loss high.  I am also very motivated to keep going.  To ensure next week I am 88 something.  Actually to be honest I am hoping to be 87 something.  I am so fired up now.  I have always read that once you get 5kg done the rest starts to become easy and I am now finding that.  It is getting easy.  I don't want unhelpful foods as much as I once did.

I still have a long way to go.  My diet lifestyle still needs a lot of work, but I am a lot better than where I was when I first started.  I just want to get a little better each week.  It has taken me months and months to reach this point but finally things are happening.  And my body is responding, I am listening to my body and treating it better each day.  Being more mindful and trying to be just a little more active.  There is only one way from here and that is down on the scales.  I can sense change in the air and the subtle feeling that next year is going to be my best yet.

Coke For Breakfast

I never have Coke for breakfast.  I rarely have it anyway.  But I am soooo tired and I need as much caffeine as I can handle to get through a full day of work.  Mr C has been sick and last night he woke us at 2:15am and vomited seven times in half an hour.  So it was off to vet.  First we had to find one that was open.  Turns out none are, but we finally found a number that lead to a mobile that lead to an "on call" vet being woken at 2:30 in the morning.

We got to the vet, naturally as soon as we got there Mr C acted like nothing was wrong.  Vet thinks gastro, gave us some pills, keep an eye on him all that stuff.  $300 later we were on the couch at 4am.  Mr M pottered about while I lightly dozed. 

Now I need go get dressed for work.  I'm not looking forward to it.  I'm tired, cranky and I have too much work to do.  Not to mention all the non work, work I have to do at home.  Clean the crap off the table, order the last few remaining Christmas presents, send off the wedding paperwork to the church, enrol into units for uni next year.  It is all too much.  I need a holiday but it looks like I won't get one till the Honeymoon.  Wish I could just go to sleep and wake up Christmas Eve. 

Thank you very much Mr C for a taste of parenthood.  So much to look forward to.  Mummy needs to go to work now, enjoy sleeping all day. 

Getting Started

I used to blog.  I stopped because I felt like I was starting to blog like all the blogs I followed.  Trying to be creative in ways that are not natural for me.  As much as I try I still only take ordinary photos.  And I always end up saying too much.  I type for too long.  I am not always positive and I like to get on my soapbox.  Oh, and I am not a mum.

So I left the "blogsphere".  I also left Sydney, discovered that life does exist beyond the Wahroonga entry to the F3.  I changed jobs.  Worked in a new city, worked in an industry I never thought I would seek work.  And 12 months ago I became "mummy" to Mr C above.  He may not be in nappies and may not keep me up every night, but for now he is my baby.

 I work full time, I am engaged, I am building a house.  And sometimes I start sentences with And.  I started rediscovering some old blogs a few months ago and have been toying with starting one.  But it had to be perfect and it just sat there empty.  Every post, not good enough.  Me, not good enough to be myself.

It was time to start.  And also time to stop.  Time to blog for me and only me and to stop analysing every word and just put it out there.  I have so much to say but unless I start how can I expect to get it out there?  So hello blogworld.  From me to me.  Clearly, because who else would start a blog at 7:30pm on a Friday night.  Funny, J just called out for me to come and join him.  Sounds like a plan.