It started innocently enough. I had recently become a bit of a royalist and was just a little bit obsessed with Princess Kate and her pregnancy with Prince George. When I was stuck on hold or checking my email, I found myself wandering online and searching for the very latest news on all things Kate. Once the news broke that she was in labour it only got worse. I was checking news websites every quarter hour and in my searching I discovered Daily Mail.
As my eyes devoured the pictures of Kate and George (and William in a few of them) my eyes discovered The Sidebar. It was packed with snippets of celeb gossip just begging me to click to open. It was like a box of chocolates, I wanted them all but I didn't know where to start. This website was feeding into my innate female nature, you know that need to bond with other women and share stories, known today as gossip. I kept going back for more, for those poorly written articles full of bad grammar and spelling mistakes accompanied by blurry, off centre photographs. My celeb knowledge was growing exponentially as was my addiction. I would get to work and the first things I would do was check out the latest on Daily Mail. On weekends I would find myself pulling out my iPad and just popping on for a quick glance.
Over time this drug was not enough, I needed more to feed my growing addiction. The best place for that of course is the workplace and it was so easy to just slide into the underground office grapevine. I had moved my addiction from a computer screen to the bathrooms at work, the kitchen at work, the back corridor and hushed conversations at the break table.
This wasn't what I wanted. It was not the kind of person I wanted to be and I didn't want a reputation for being that girl you cannot say anything to because she will tell everyone. Gossip destroys everything in it's path. I had to get myself out. I had to cut my addiction cold turkey and that meant not only staying away from it at work, but cutting myself off from where it all began, Daily Mail.
Staying away was hard. My addiction was now a built in habit. I had to be fed my gossip, I had to know what was going on, I wanted to be told gossip and nod my head and say "I know, it was on Daily Mail, YESTERDAY". Part of me enjoyed being in the know but I knew I had to stop.
Even now, sometimes I catch myself wandering over. Just a quick glance I tell myself. And I start, but then I pull myself up and force myself to close the website. My rational self knows it is all rubbish and adds nothing to me as a person. In those moments I need to remind myself in order to improve myself and move myself forward I need to fill my head "with the good, clean, pure, powerful and positive." (Zig Ziglar). And when I say that to myself, I close the website and go in search of it's antithesis, positive and uplifting content that grows me into a better person each day.
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